​The Battle of the Bulge: Women, Power and Feeding

It would be perpetuating a myth to say or even imply that women are, historically, foreigners to power. Women's power has historically been proscribed from the high places in government and the economy (unless you look at pre-history--but that is another article). However, women have almost always, cross-culturally, wielded power over food. Even in hunting and gathering societies, it was the women gatherers that provided daily sustenance for their clans, where the hunter's provisions were more ceremonial and glorified than substantive in nature. Women are deeply linked with agriculture. There is persuasive historical evidence that women developed (or "invented") agriculture; most agricultural deities are female (e.g. mother Earth, corn mother).

And in today's societies, it is still primarily the women who do the gathering (shopping), preparing, cooling, and serving of food. Furthermore, since the industrial revolution, having power over food has taken on more and more significance. It has become (more than before) the power to give or withhold sustenance and nurture--something all human beings, particularly children, need for their physical and emotional survival. Since most other avenues to power had been blocked, the power over food and nurturance has tended to be overused, abused, and clung to by women for many generations.
The stereotypical fill-in-blank (Jewish, Italian) mother is famous for such uses and abuses. Forced overfeeding, use of food as reward or enticement, and withholding of food as punishment are all familiar methods to most of us.

In this most recent women's movement (women's rights movements go back to women's enslavement thousands of years ago) the struggle to embrace wider circles of power and let go of food and self-abuse has been a violent and confusing one. We women are starving ourselves, starving our children and loved ones, gorging ourselves, gorging our children and loved ones, alternating between starving and gorging, purging, obsessing, and all the while hating, pounding and wanting to remove that which makes us female: our bodies, our curves, our pear-shaped selves.

This battle was chronicled daily in the American comic strip "Cathy" from 1976-2010, but unfortunately most of the humour is still relevant today. We can all see that Cathy's move up the corporate ladder is not without repercussions. She hates her body, swears to diet every other day, binges on alternate days, all against the backdrop of a love/get-away-from relationship with her overly nurturing and self-sacrificial mother. For Cathy to succeed without ambivalence in a world that was proscribed from her mother, she would have to leave the "woman who gave up everything for her" behind. And so she takes her with her. She has a successful career, but she and her mother cozy up over the diet coke and pizza and moan over their bodies together. It is, if you think about it, an ingenious solution to an emotionally wrenching problem.

Even today, women are made to feel they have no right to feed themselves when they are hungry--the most basic human need there is! While asserting one need, many women will often (unconsciously) deny another, as an expression of their fundamental feelings of non-entitlement. Why is it that to "succeed" in so many fields--i.e., to "climb the ladder"--so many women are expected to take up less space (get thinner)? I see this image of women climbing higher and higher while getting thinner and thinner, until the most "powerful" women eventually disappear into thin air.

There is another solution, but it is more painful. And that is to let go of the power over food in exchange for new forms of power. Letting go of the power struggle with food means returning it to its original purpose of mere sustenance. It means letting go of the battle--no more diets - that includes "Keto" and other fads that pretend to be "healthy eating plans," binges, puke-ins, weigh-ins, or bathing-suit competitions. Just hunger--> self-feed--> satiation and on with life. This is no easy task, and it brings innumerable complications, especially since other forms of power are not so accessible to women in these days of the feminization of poverty when our rights to control over our bodies are being revoked at every turn. Nor are the traditionally male forms of power necessarily comfortable or even acceptable to many women. Some of us might prefer to challenge the very structures of hierarchical power itself. All this sounds exhausting. The battle of the bulge is safer--at least it's familiar.
 
To feel "entitled" to take up space, to take our place in the world and share power equally with men, we must first learn to give up this drive to "trade off" one need for another. We must somehow, gradually, haltingly, but persistently lay claim to each and every human right, one after the other. To do this, we must make use of the greatest source of strength and power we have: each other.

​Note: I do not mean to imply that this is the only reason for the continuing epidemic of eating disorders; individual situations are very unique and complex. But it may shed some light on the society-wide epidemic of fat-phobia and diet mania, an atmosphere that encourages individual eating and body obsessions to thrive.

On Racism, Violence and Oppression

In his blog http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-metta/i-racist_b_7770652.html John Metta articulately reflects the reality of targets or racism (people of colour in general) but doesn't go far enough, in my opinion, to recognise that this is also the reality of all targets of systemised genocide, colonialism, violence (including war), trafficking and slavery (mostly women and children) and many LGBT. It's about a lack of empathy (not sympathy - not pity - but empathy). It's the inability to recognise "that could just have easily been me" or "that could just have easily been my child...partner...home..." etc. This lack of empathy is caused by an unfortunate quality of human nature to categorise "the other" as anyone far enough away either in difference or in distance. Just because it is a quality of human nature doesn't mean it can't be challenged or changed. We are also a creative species profoundly influenced by learning and the environment - so much so that learning can change our very genetic makeup. However it is a limitation of human nature we would be wise to be aware of and to challenge.  This limitation makes us vulnerable to being pitted against one another in such unfortunate ways as competing for a place in the "oppression lineup" and prevents us from working together to overthrow the sources of such mutual oppression.

Everything You Thought You Knew about Addiction is Wrong

Brilliant! Unfortunately the solution can't be only individual or familial - it has to be political and cultural as well - but the message and learnings here are clear: the opposite of addiction is attachment.

http://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong

Childhood Trauma linked to Obesity and Illness throughout the Lifespan

Check out this amazing slideshow by Kathleen Kendall-Tackett about the links among childhood trauma, race, size, and socioeconomic discrimination,  and later physical illness, sleep disturbances, depression and obesity. This goes beyond the ACE studies and to look at all forms of stress/trauma including cultural ones. The worse the developmental trauma (this includes poverty and social discrimination), the greater the impact on physical and mental health, insulin resistance and obesity. Time to stop blaming the survivors and start challenging the causes. 

Lesser Known Causes of Obesity

We hear it in the news every day.  There is an obesity epidemic.  We are obese.  We just keep getting fatter and fatter.  

Who's responsible?  We must find someone to blame.  Why not blame the fat people?  Many people in Western society seem to have opted for distancing ourselves from the intolerable and projecting it onto “fat” and "fat people".  Our society's rage against fat as sin today may be comparable to the Victorian attitude about sex. Our desperation to avoid the stigma of fat is reflected in how we spend our money. 

In 2012 in the U.S. alone, the weight-loss industry raked in $61 billion on weight loss foods, food replacement products (i.e. Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers), books, surgeries, diet programmes, and diet supplements (in 1980 that number was $10 billion). 

After all, we can't control our age, our height, our colour, our socioeconomic status at birth, our parentage, our increasingly poisonous environment - we need something to claim control over - right?  If we can't control our body weight, there's no hope for us - right?  Wrong.

Obese people have been found to expend less energy while sleeping and resting than those who are not obese, making it easier to gain weight on lower caloric intake than those with higher resting energy expenditure rates:

"Resting energy expenditure (REE) was investigated by indirect calorimetry in relation to body composition and to different degrees of obesity in order to assess if a defective energy expenditure contributes to extra body fat accumulation …. The analysis showed a negative impact of obesity on REE beyond body composition variables."  (⁶Verga, p. 47)

Recent research by 12 Dallman suggests that high levels of stress over a long period of time (such as those caused poverty, chronic trauma and childhood abuse) can create changes in the brain that causes the body to redistribute its fat stores to the abdominal area and increases sucrose (sweets) appetite. 

Pagato, et al, 2012 observed that

• PTSD alters functioning of the HPA axis, which regulates cortisol secretion Cortisol hypothesized to promote obesity
• Cortisol secretion linked to stress-related weight gain
• People with PTSD have lower circulating cortisol relative to healthy controls

Ironically, the stigma from being fat, especially as a child, and the consequent vulnerability to ongoing bullying and abuse by peers can set this viscous cycle in motion or exacerbate it early on.

Additional causes of obesity unrelated to compulsive eating were also found by studies from the ⁷National Institutes for Health, and by ⁴Heitmann.  Obesity has been shown to have a significant genetic component according to cross-sectional twin and family studies done by ²Coady. And this genetic component is compounded by the tendency of obese people to mate with each other, as they are often excluded from mainstream dating circles.  From  ³Hebebrand:

"Our results indicate that assortative mating is common among parents of extremely obese children and adolescents, ascertained between 1995 and 1997. In addition, the parental loading on the tenth decile is most prominent for the most obese children."  (p. 345)

Major Cause of Obesity Epidemic: Weight-Loss Attempts

• Research on 17,000 children showed that twins who embarked on one intentional weight loss episode were two to three times more likely to become overweight compared to their non-dieting twin counterpart. Furthermore, the risk of becoming overweight increased in a dose-dependent manner, with each dieting episode. #1

• A 1999 report on 4,193 women and 3,536 men participating in the Finnish Twin Cohort Study revealed that dieters were several times more likely than non-dieters to experience major weight gain (more than 22 pounds) during a follow-up lasting 15 years. (pp.31) #2

#1. Alison E. Field, S. Bryn Austin, C. Barr Taylor, Susan Malspeis, Bernard Rosner (2003)

#2. Korkelia, M., A Rissanen, J Kaprio, TIA Sorensen, & M Koskenvuo (1999)

According to a 2007 Meta-Study (a study of 31 other studies, internationally)

• Diets do lead to short-term weight loss, on average of 5%–10% of the person's body weight

• These losses are not maintained

• The more time that elapses between the end of a diet and the follow-up, the more weight is regained.

• Among patients who were followed for two or more years, 83% gained back more weight than they lost

• In studies with the longest follow-up times (of four or five years post-diet), the weight regain trajectories continued to increase suggesting that if participants were followed for even longer, their weight would continue to increase. #3

#3 Mann, T., Tomiyama, AJ, Westling,E, Lew, AM, Samuels, B. (2007) Medicare’s Search for Effective Obesity Treatments in American Psychologist Vol. 62, No. 3, 220–233

Putting people on caloric restriction regimens is bound to fail, as their bodies will tell them that they are not getting enough to eat (they will have a constant nagging hunger that will only ease up when they eat).  Checking for medications that cause weight gain, educating about food additives such as trans fatty acids or trans-fats, explaining about the connections between genes, stress, childhood abuse and body size to de-stigmatise, and encouraging an increase in activity levels with guidance on how to incorporate regular exercise into daily routines is the only humane prescription for obesity when it is not related to overeating.

References:
²Coady, S.A., Jaquish, C.E., Fabsitz, R.R., Larson, M.G., Cupples, L.A., & Myers, R.H. (2002). Genetic variability of adult body mass index: a longitudinal assessment in Framingham families. Obesity Research, 10, 675-81.
^1aColditz, G.A. (1992). Economic costs of obesity. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 55, 503-507.
¹²Dallman, M.F., Pecorary, N., Akana, S.F., la Fleur, S.E., Gomez, F., houshyar, H., Bell, M.E., Bhatnagar, S., Laugero, K.D., and Manalo, S. (2003) Chronic stress and obesity: A new view of "comfort food".  Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the USA, 100/20, 11696-1170^1
11 Trust for America's Health Report. (2005). F as in Fat: How obesity policies are failing in America.
¹⁰Farley, Tom,  (2005). Prescription for a Healthy Nation : A New Approach to Improving Our Lives by Fixing Our Everyday World. Boston: Beacon Press
⁸Gallagher, D., Testolin, C., Heshka, S., & Heymsfield, S.B. (n.d.). Body mass index: Differential misclassification of under and over-fatness. New York City: Obesity Research Center, St.
³Hebebrand, J., Wulftange, H., Goerg, T., Ziegler, A., Hinney, A., Barth, N., Mayer, H., & Remschmidt, H. (2000). Epidemic obesity: are genetic factors involved via increased rates of assortative mating? International Journal of Obesity Related Metabolic Disorders, 24, 345-53
⁴Heitmann, B.L., Harris, J.R., Lissner, L., & Pedersen, N.L. (1999). Genetic effects on weight change and food intake in Swedish adult twins. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 69, 597-602.
^1bMetropolitan Life Insurance Company (1983). Metropolitan height and weight tables. New York: Author.
⁷National Institutes for Health (2001). Understanding adult obesity. NIH Publication No. 01-3680. Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office.
⁵U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (1996). Physical activity and health: A report of the surgeon general. Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office.
⁶Verga, S, Buscemi, S., & Caimi, G. (1994). Resting energy expenditure and body composition in morbidly obese, obese and control subjects. Acta Diabetologia, 31(1), 47-51.
 
  

Self Empowerment: Actualizing the Power Within

To experience empowerment we must act on a sense of self worth, value and give voice to our own needs, and give equal validity to our own needs as to others'. As we develop a sense of empowerment, we begin to discover that a conflict of needs actually can present us with a creative challenge to imagine solutions that can empower all parties involved (rather than fearing that a conflict of needs must necessarily result in a "win-lose" battle).  I offer the following vignette as an example:

Mary does child care every night so John can go out with the "boys".  Mary becomes more and more resentful of John and their young children.  Finally, Mary initiates an assertive "conflict".  She says:

"I understand that you work hard all day and need time in the evenings to relax and unwind, but I've never pointed out to you that for you to relax and unwind by going out every night, you are counting on me to stay home with the kids, which is what I do all day.  So I don't get to relax and unwind and I become more resentful toward you and the kids and unpleasant to be around.  I need escape time too.  I'd like us to work out a way that we can both get what we need."

John agreed that Mary had become very unpleasant to be around (and didn't hesitate to tell her so.)  But after a number of arguments, they came around to agreeing on an experiment.  The experiment was that once a week John would go out while Mary watched the children, once a week Mary would go out while John watched the children, and once a week they both went out while Mary's mother watched their children.  The other two evenings they all stayed home as a family.  After two weeks of this experiment, not only did Mary feel better, but John felt better as well because he was feeling closer to his children and getting less resentment from his wife--and he still had time to see his friends.

The word "compromise" does not adequately describe the process of creating a "win-win" solution.  Compromise implies that neither side really gets what they want, whereas in "win-win" solutions, both sides get as much if not more than they wanted originally.  Assertiveness means acting from a place of respect – for self and other – and assuming equal value to the needs of self and other.  This presents many dilemmas that can also be seen as possibilities.  Power--the power of creative problem solving and acting--is mobilized rather than suppressed.

Power

Traditionally power has meant different things for men and women, taking on more positive connotations for men.  Think of the following words, first for men and then for women.  Pay attention to the feelings they evoke:

Men	Women
Powerful	Powerful
Aggressive	Aggressive
Forceful	Forceful
Ambitious	Ambitious
Assertive	Assertive
Competitive	Competitive
Authoritative	Authoritative

      

1. Women have traditionally been expected to defer to men, and have internalized the dominant cultural expectations of females as submissive and powerless

and

 2. There is something wrong with the present system of power distribution for all people, which we, as women, may be particularly sensitive to, having so deeply learned to respect the importance of other people's needs.

 As we endeavor to compete with men as their equals, some of us feel there is something sour about climbing up a ladder on top of other worthy people's heads, something deceitful about the notion of inferiority and superiority in our fellow human beings. We see that to gain others must lose, and having been relegated to losing for thousands of years, we may not feel comfortable inducing that experience in others.

When some people have less power than others do because external forces (e.g. money, status, physical strength, military force) block them, many problems arise for both the "winners" and the "losers".  The "losers" become afraid to express their needs because they fear (often rightfully) that what little they have will be taken from them.  They then become afraid to even feel their needs, to admit to themselves that they want something.  They become immobilized.  And, in certain critical ways, they stop growing; cease to thrive; development (the Power from Within) is blocked. The "winners" then miss out on the experience of sharing with equals and become self-preoccupied.  Their development is also blocked.

Let's consider these questions:

1. How do we reclaim our rights to power and effectiveness in the world without doing so at the expense of others?

2. How can we, as women, integrate the profound knowledge we gain from mothering and being nurtured by our mothers -- i.e., that we are each special, unique, and worthy in our own right, into a culture where value is so often seen in material terms?

We may want to begin by developing our own vocabulary to describe our experiences and perceptions.  Without words to communicate our experiences, we are trapped and limited.  If power only means the power to force others to do our will, we will feel that power is foreign to us, awkward and unfamiliar.  But power means many things, and many aspects of power can feel right for us.

I offer the following words and phrases to begin reclaiming our own vocabulary taken from Simos 1987 - (see below*)

 Power Over: the ability to force others to do your will through physical or financial coercion.  The power inherent in social or economic positions, or physical size or strength, regardless of skill or ability.

 Shared Power: power whose goal is to uplift or teach others to bring them to parity, as with a parent/child, teacher/student, or psychotherapist/client relationship

 Referred Power: the power others give us because they value, respect, and/or are attached us

 Expertise Power: the power others give us because they count on our knowledge and judgment

 Power With: the power to be effective interpersonally, to persuade, to inspire (not “command” or force) respect

Power From Within: the power of growth and development inherent in all living things.  It is the power to change, to overcome obstacles, to face our own fears, to learn new skills, to fail, and to try again.

Power can be used to destroy or create, to belittle others and over-inflate the self, or to belittle the self and over-inflate others.  We may call the use of power to harm or belittle the self passive power, and to harm or belittle others aggressive power. In contrast, assertiveness can be seen as the use of power to enhance and respect both self and other.  Assertiveness training, then, can be a way for women to reclaim their rights to power and effectiveness in the world without doing so at the expense of others.

Recommend this on Google Plus  

 * new vocabulary words taken from Miriam Simos (Starhawk) Truth or Dare, Harper & Row Publishers, New York, 1987

 Suggested Reading

Jean Baker Miller, M.D. (1976). Toward a New Psychology of Women. Boston: Beacon Press

Pamela Butler (1981) Self-Assertion for Women. New York: Harper & Row Publishers

Margaret McIntosh () Feeling Like a Fraud a Work In Progress Paper of the Stone Center for Developmental Studies at Wellesley College, Wellesley, Mass., 02181

Miriam Simos (Starhawk) (1987) Truth or Dare. New York: Harper & Row Publishers 

Overcoming Powerlessness

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts
comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."-- Victor Frankl

When you feel powerless, you feel afraid to express your needs because you fear (often rightly) that what little you have will be taken from you. You may have learned powerlessness if you were kept in powerless positions repeatedly and/or over long periods of time (possibly during childhood) by those who used external forces (money, physical strength, legal status, and/or military force) to control you. You may have been abused as a child, a partner or spouse, an employee, a soldier, or you may have been the victim of racial or ethnic attacks. Such prolonged abuse can cause you to become afraid to feel even your own needs, i.e., to admit to yourself that you need something. You become immobilized. And in certain critical ways you stop growing, you cease to thrive.


Distinguishing Externally Imposed Powerlessness from Learned Powerlessness


When powerlessness is "learned", it becomes self-perpetuating, even if the external forces are no longer there. An abused child may grow up to feel permanently powerless as an adult, even though his/her parents no longer have physical or economic power over him/her. One may then enter into a situation that repeats childhood experiences (e.g., living with or marrying an abusive partner), and therefore keeping oneself in externally imposed danger. Or one may keep oneself down through self-abuse, compulsive behaviors, and/or depression...because the powerlessness has become internalized.

This is different from the externally imposed powerlessness of racial, class, and gender oppression, which may be enforced through economic, legal, physical, or military, might. The secretary who is being sexually harassed, the single mother who cannot get a promotion due to sex discrimination, the homeless family that cannot afford housing: these are victims that require collective power and direct action to overcome their powerlessness. Collective power may take the form of a union, or a "network" of friends, supporters and professional helpers. Direct action might involve a lawsuit, going to the media, or organizing a strike or protest. Collective power and direct action together make an even more powerful combination.
Even more insidious than this is when--as is often the case--externally imposed powerlessness is combined with learned powerlessness. When this is the case, the above methods are not possible because the person is emotionally incapable of asserting her/his rights.

Overcoming Learned Powerlessness

The first step to overcoming learned powerlessness is to learn to feel entitled to your personal rights. You have the right to live a life free from physical, emotional, sexual, and financial mistreatment. You have the right to be treated with respect, to earn a livable income, to be informed of matters that affect you, and to express yourself freely (without harming others). Most importantly, you have the right to ask for what you need (even though you may be turned down) and to fight for what you need and want (even if you are turned down!). This list of "legitimate entitlements" is easier to read than to experience. Most people who have learned powerlessness barely feel entitled to speak, let alone to speak freely. Often professional therapy is necessary to overcome the ingrained patterns. Never the less, to overcome learned powerlessness, you must gradually, haltingly, but persistently lay claim to each and every human right, one after the other.

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